On Instructing Your Children Part 4

What does a father need to teach his children?

We are walking our way through Proverbs and trying to learn from Solomon about what we need to teach our children about living wise lives in this world. 

4.   We need to teach our children purity and self-control in their relationships.

 Man, dads and moms, can I beg you here, please don’t just let your children grow up in this world without helping them learn how to deal with sexual temptation.

In fact, if you read Proverbs 1 through 10, you are going to see that this is probably the main thing the writer spends his time talking to his son about.

It is in Proverbs 2:16-19; 5:1ff; 6:20-35 and 7.

And as you listen to Solomon in all of these passages you see that there are several characteristics that mark the way he speaks to his children about this.

He is:

* Specific

He describes what the woman might look like and what the woman might do or even say

* Intense

He doesn’t hide the dangers of this kind of sin.  He shows his son where it will take him.

* Repetitious

He doesn’t just talk about this once, but on a repeated basis.

* Realistic

He lets his son know that there are going to be things that seem attractive about sexual sin.  And I think you need to help your children understand this, that sexual temptation, the reason it is tempting is because it does seem pleasurable.  I am going to tell my son that, but I am also going to plead with him not to be fooled by his own desires, because of where those desires will take him.  

* Practical

He tells him what not to do and what to do.  He doesn’t just give him the principle. He goes into some detail about how to actually live it out.

* And he’s hopeful

You know he doesn’t just tell his son, watch out for sexual temptation, don’t give into it, it stinks to be you because you have all these desires but you can never do it; no he shows him that the reason he’s telling him no is because he’s concerned about his good and that God has a plan for his sexual desires that is much better than any temptation has to offer.  And you need to help your children see that as well.  One way you can do that by the way is really enjoying your marriage relationship.  You don’t need to be kissing your wife all the time in front of your children, but I think you should at least let your children know as they grow up that marriage is sweet and that there is a great God-designed way and plan for those desires we have and that is the husband wife relationship.  

5.    We need to teach our children the danger of sin.  

This one I don’t have to talk about as long because we saw this even as Solomon spoke about purity.

But look sin destroys lives. 

If your children were going out into Sunnyside and there was a murderer who you knew was on the loose and walking the streets, you probably would want to make sure your children knew about him and how to avoid getting killed by him and you should do the same with sin.

For one thing tell them the danger of sin, and as they grow up, be more and more pointed and graphic.  Just look at how Solomon speaks in Proverbs 1:17 and 18; 1:24-26; 2:19 and 5:21-23.

But talk isn’t enough.  When they are younger and as they are growing up, this is why you need to apply loving physical discipline when they sin.

You know part of why you discipline physically, so that your children will begin to associate sin with pain, because the reality is when they leave your house, sin will bring pain and if you don’t teach them when they are young that sin is painful, they will learn it when they grow up and it may be too late.

That’s why Proverbs says over and over again that if you don’t discipline your children, you hate them.  Don’t be mistaken about that.  Just check out Proverbs 13:24 and 19:18!

6.    We need to teach them how to talk.

The way your children speak will take them places in this life, either up or down. 

And you need to get involved and help your children learn how to control their tongue.

Teach them especially the danger of lying and a crooked tongue.  I know in our family, there’s hardly any sin we take more seriously than lying because we know if a child develops a sin of lying and that is a pattern a habit, then as he grows up, he is going to be able to get away for a time with almost any other sin. 

But show them the power of speech.

 That’s all throughout Proverbs and help them learn how things like how to respond when someone corrects them; how to talk to someone who is hurting; when to talk and when not to talk; what kinds of things to talk about; what to say when someone gossips to them; what kind of conversations they need to avoid.