I am in the middle of preparing for a pastor's fraternal this Friday and so I have been thinking a little bit about some specific pastoral ministry kinds of issues that we as pastors need particular help with.One of the issues that has been going through my mind is the fact that the more you grow in your knowledge of the truth and the greater leadership responsibility you have in the church, the more you see error and the more you have to stand up against false teaching, which means of course, the more you will find yourself having to deal with conflict.The problem with conflict is that it can be so confusing. How do we deal with disagreements and error in ways that are good for the church and that honor God? These are not topics that pastors need to think about only every once in a while, instead they seem to be basic pastoral ministry issues.Fortunately, the Bible gives us a great deal of help in this regard. For example, Paul provides specific instructions in the book of 2 Timothy for dealing with disagreements.I have been encouraged this afternoon as I have just begun to consider the way Paul contrasts how godly men and ungodly men handle disagreements in verses 24 through 26.Before we look at the specifics, it is important to note the difference is not that one is externally religious and the other is not. The difference is not that one claims to be concerned about the truth and the other says that he is not. The difference is not that one is passionate about words and the other says he is not concerned about Scripture.Instead in verses 24 through 26, we see the difference lies in the substance of what they are passionate about and in how they handle their disagreements with others.Specifically, Paul identifies three character qualities that mark the way godly men handle conflicts with others over doctrine, philosophy of ministry, truth.First, Paul says godly men are not quarrelsome but kind. The ungodly man is easy to quarrel with, the godly man on the other hand is not always looking for a fight. Instead he is kind to everyone. Think about that. As I approach people and especially those who disagree with me am I looking for weaknesses to exploit and am I thinking about ways to attack or am I genuinely concerned about their good and do I actually want their best? The problem with kindness is that it takes faith. You sometimes can make yourself look a lot smarter in an argument (at least initially) by not being kind, by over-exaggerating what the other person is saying, by arguing with things they are not even saying, by attack. When you are kind you often leave yourself open to people who are not kind, who don't have the same boundaries you might be seeking to put up, when you are kind you really have to believe that God is able to take care of you and sometimes in the middle of quarrels that is really hard.Second, Paul says that the godly man needs to be able to teach. That means he doesn't just shout louder than the other person, he takes the time to explain the truth and seeks to communicate in ways that the other person can understand. He doesn't simply think in his head, what an idiot, why don't they understand what I understand, he looks for ways to take the truth and explain the implications to the person he is disagreeing with. Paul explains in verse 25 what this instructing looks like more specifically. He says that he needs to correct his opponents with gentleness. That tells us the content and the attitude in which the content is delivered are both important. Man, we need to hear that. Paul doesn't want us to think merely about what to say but especially when we disagree with someone else we need to think about our attitude as we say it. It is sinful to correct someone in a way that is not gentle. Now, the word gentleness probably could take some work to think through. It doesn't mean weak. It doesn't mean always agree. I am honestly not always sure how gentleness connects with times where for example Jesus called Peter Satan. But here's the deal, gentleness must mean something and I think so much of it has to do with our attitude as we approach others and the fact that we actually take their background, their perspective, their circumstances all into account. Perhaps gentleness is again faith in action. It's not taking the situation or disagreement into your own hands and trying to force it through your words, but instead relying on God and allowing your trust in God's goodness to influence the way you speak.Third, he says that godly men should be willing to patiently endure evil. What does patient mean? What does endure mean? It seems that godly men are willing to endure personal attacks for a long time, right? I am not sure how else to interpret that phrase. One author writes, "It means literally to endure evil without resentment...which in the present context envisions a capacity for tolerance (of insults, contradictions) in the face of opposition." Again the problem with patiently enduring evil is that it takes faith. It is one thing to be kind and patient with those who are kind to you, but with your opponents? Patience obviously doesn't mean pretending like there aren't any issues or just agreeing every time they say something, but it does seem to involve trusting God is working things out for the good and hoping that God would grant the other person repentance, which again is a good test of where we are at in the middle of conflict or disagreement. Are we hoping for repentance for the other person's good? Do we really long for their best?